Throughout my youth, I had an explicit goal – I was going to become a psychologist. It started when I created a teen support group in high school, then it was my college major (all A’s, by the way 😊) and I was president of the Psychology Club. Finally, I partnered with my professor to publish an article, “Understanding and Treating Perfectionistic College Students.” Everything was going along swimmingly until I actually saw patients – I didn’t have the temperament to be an effective therapist. I couldn’t get to their level – my desire to help and push people was greater than letting them learn, grow and evolve at their own pace.
How about this for a kick in the head? At the time I was 22 years old and was frustrated that clients were not changing their thinking fast enough for me, they weren’t actively turning their life around. It’s not until Peter is TWICE that age until he finally addresses his internal struggles and seeks therapy to establish a singular identify – previously I had worked tirelessly to be a different person to different populations (work vs. my children vs. friends). I needed counseling for three years to rebuild Peter after all the hiding and negative thoughts that consumed me at the time. I needed help and finally I asked for it.
Asking for help does not mean that you are weak and admitting you have a problem / you are broken is not a sign of giving up. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without the help of trained professionals. And if I had reached out before I decided to hide my true identity and marry a woman, who knows who, what and where I would be today.
Peter Leahy
A self-proclaimed “ideas guy,” I’ve worked in marketing for over twenty-five years. After years of sadness, emptiness and self-loathing, I finally came out of the closet in 2013 and reinvented myself. Now happily married to my husband for over two years, we live in California with our Chihuahua Felicia, the queen of our household.
