My name is Peter and I am Giving “____”

I am beaming as I type this because I LOVE the dichotomy of similar expressions that reflect the man that I once was versus the man that I’ve become. The ‘in the closet’ Peter would say GIVING UP / GIVING IN and the ‘out and proud’ Peter is gleefully GIVING BACK / GIVING THANKS.

Here’s an interesting brain tease:

Am I giving back and giving thanks because I’m deliriously happy and fully embraced myself or did my awakening and embracing lead me to want to give back and give thanks on a daily basis? Do I know? The answer is no. Do I care? That is also a no. 😊

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

My situation may be more akin to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – about 15-20 years ago I was inwardly focused emotionally (desperately afraid of being outed) while also barely surviving financially month-to-month. Eventually, I filed for bankruptcy in 2010 ($100K in credit card debt) to reset my life.

No Longer in Survival Mode

Now that I’m emotionally and financially stable, I’m no longer in survival mode and I can give back. I want my legacy to be seen as a man who helped others and gave back to the next LGBTQ+ generation. I wouldn’t be here without a myriad of support angels, and I want to supply the same joy & benefit to a friend in need or a stranger who needs inspiration.

It’s more blessed to give than receive”
– Acts 20:35, The Bible

I always viewed this Bible verse as a slap in the face and a luxury for others when I was lonely, depressed, in the closet and struggling financially. Now that I’m no longer suffering from any of those ailments, I can see the wisdom in helping those less fortunate. Some studies have found that generosity and acts of giving have been linked to improved mental health. Yay for making my brain and heart happy!