Allow me to Cher!
Now that I have that Cher song in your head, let’s talk about your past and whether you want to change it, revisit it, or rewrite it. Have you fully accepted/embraced your decisions and can look back without regretting the consequences? Do you want the option to see what would have happened if you took that job out of state or stayed together with the one who got away?
Do you wish that you had come out of the closet at 22 as opposed to 44?
I do wonder what my life would have looked like if I made a difficult decision at a younger age. Would I eventually get married? (probably) Would I have had children? (maybe not, based on the obstacles associated with gay adoption and surrogacy)
What might have happened?
I strongly believe that my friends/support network/chosen family would be dramatically different right now if I came out over two decades ago. It’s only natural – I would have probably lived somewhere different (a gay-centric large city) and enjoyed a different set of shared experiences.
Alternatively, I don’t believe much would have changed with some of my high school friends. They’ve known me the longest and know me the best and have embraced all my stages – from a loveable goofball at 16 to a fabulous and proud man at 56. We’ve loved each other at every age.
In a nutshell, I don’t want to go back.
I don’t dream about another life I could have led. I love the life that I have now and while I have many disappointments in my past, I let those thoughts pass through my brain and focus on the here and now.
PS: Cher is the ultimate Gay boy mother, potentially the grandmother. You already knew that, right?
Peter Leahy
A self-proclaimed “ideas guy,” I’ve worked in marketing for over twenty-five years. After years of sadness, emptiness and self-loathing, I finally came out of the closet in 2013 and reinvented myself. Now happily married to my husband for over two years, we live in California with our Chihuahua Felicia, the queen of our household.
