I don’t claim to speak for the entire gay community, but for many of us, this concept of a Chosen Family is a big deal. Here’s a fantastic technical definition of Chosen Family:
“Nonbiological kinship bonds, whether legally recognized or not, deliberately chosen for the purpose of mutual support and love.”
Find Your Chosen Family
From what I’ve observed and experienced since coming out of the closet 11 years ago, developing a Chosen Family isn’t an active process – people don’t usually decide to abandon their blood relatives and extended family because they feel like it. It’s not a whimsical decision. The sad truth is that for many, this is a reactive decision. I see the creation of a chosen family as a survival strategy after rejection (or non-acceptance) from your original family.
Please note that I’m not saying these are binary – you can definitely have a Chosen Family as well as a biological family. One is not more important than the other; nor is one better than another.
Why?
Why am I talking about this? What’s the big deal? Well in the United States during the 20th century, being gay was essentially “controversial.” Not all families understood it or embraced it, several religious groups forbade it and most importantly, you could get arrested or be blackballed in your place of
employment.
Changes…
Times have changed and appear to be better for the next generation of LGBTQ+ youth, but I believe that Chosen Families will always have a role in our lives. It’s our safe space to fully express ourselves without judgement and be vulnerable in order to heal and grow through support.
Peter Leahy
A self-proclaimed “ideas guy,” I’ve worked in marketing for over twenty-five years. After years of sadness, emptiness and self-loathing, I finally came out of the closet in 2013 and reinvented myself. Now happily married to my husband for over two years, we live in California with our Chihuahua Felicia, the queen of our household.
